Peace With Justice

Puppets: Barnabas, Fodder, and Grant
People: Kids

Barnabas: Buenos dias boys and girls. How is everybody today?

Fodder: Goood morrrrning Methodists! Whaaat’s happening? Hey, look who the cat dragged in. It’s Grant. Long time no see, Grant!

Grant: Sunday salutations! And the longstanding lack of visual contact is mutual, I’m sure. I’ve been in Florida all year, you know.

Barnabas: Man! A whole year? [Pause] My dentist is slow, too, but it only takes him about an hour to do that when I go in. [Both give Barnabas strange look]You know…that Florida stuff they put on your teeth. [Both shake heads again] ...

[Etc.] The rest of this puppet show isn't being posted this time. To order puppet scripts for your church, check out my other site: http://home.earthlink.net/~lansverk/


Comments on this latest one: "This was the best ever! Funny and weird. I loved it."

The Paradox of Abstention

Puppets: Barnabas, Olivia, and Fodder
People: Kids



[Barnabas, Oliva and Fodder are all up front]

Barnabas: Buenos días boys and girls. How is everybody today?

Olivia: Hid kids. It’s good to see you all here this morning. Hi Fodder.

Fodder: Gooood morning Methodists! Whaat’s happenin?

Barnabas: I’d tell you what’s happening. But I can’t.

Fodder: Why not?

Olivia: [Disgusted] Because he’s abstaining.

Fodder: Abstaining from what?

Barnabas: From everything.

Fodder: Everything? Even ice cream?

Barnabas: Except that.

Olivia: He read a book.

Barnabas: Not just a book. I read Dr. Marvin Shaw’s book. And I’m trying to follow its principles.

Fodder: By abstaining.

Barnabas: Yup. And it works.

Olivia: [Disgusted] Yah right. He was asked to do the dishes last night and he said he couldn’t, that he was abstaining. So now he has to do them all week.

Barnabas: See? It’s just as the book says. Sometimes when you want something, it’s better to abstain than really try to get it. And somehow, by abstaining, you get what you wanted anyway. The Paradox of Abstention.

Olivia: What are you talking about? You didn’t want to do the dishes for a day, let alone all week. Are you nuts?

Barnabas: I abstain from answering that question.

Fodder: Then how about this one: [Incredulous] Don’t you know that Professor Shaw’s book is called the Paradox of Intention, not the Paradox of Abstention. The actual paradox is that when you really want something, it’s often better not to try to get it. And then somehow, you still often end up with it. It has nothing to do with abstention…You didn’t really read it did you?

Barnabas: I intended to….but after looking at the author’s picture on the back flap, I decided to abstain.

Olivia: [Shouting] And I’m going to abstain from this whole puppet show in a minute. We’re supposed to be having a celebration today. For the teachers. It’s Teacher Appreciation Sunday!

Barnabas: I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t shout so much.

Fodder: She really should abstain from shouting.

Barnabas: [Excited] Hey. Maybe it’s the paradox, the actual paradox, what you said, the paradox of intention. Olivia doesn’t intend to shout, but then, being Olivia, she can’t help it. But maybe if she actually tried to be really annoying and loud, then maybe she wouldn’t be.

Olivia: Well I never.

Fodder: Hey, all this paradox and teacher appreciation stuff gives me an idea. Maybe I could write a book, like Professor Shaw, and I could call it…the Paradox of Appreciation.

Barnabas: Oooo. Sounds good. And we could sell copies to all the teachers—for Teacher Appreciation Sunday. What’s it about?

Olivia: Well, I never.

Fodder: It’s, it’s, it’s about how one of the best ways to show people you really appreciate them…is not to.

Olivia: This is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.

Barnabas: Hmm. So the less that we visibly appreciate someone, the more we actually do appreciate them. I think I know some married couples like that.

Fodder: See kids? So every week that goes by that you don’t thank your teachers, or give them a hug, or bring them flowers, or tell them that they are important…or that you learned something, or had fun that day…means…that you really appreciate them all the more. Hmm. Does this sound as dumb as I think it does?

Olivia: Dumber.

Barnabas: I’m thinking most of the book buying world is going to abstain from purchasing this book of yours. Except for rude people.

Fodder: Hmm. Now what?

Olivia: How about if instead of thinking about writing books, we just do something normal for a change.

Fodder and Barnabas: Writing books is normal.

Olivia: Ok then, after we’re done here, you can write a book about how wonderful our teachers are, but in the meantime, [Shouting] LET’S JUST TELL THEM.

Barnabas: [To Fodder] She’s doing it again.

Fodder: But she is right. OK kids. Turn around. And teachers, know this: these kids do love you, and we all appreciate what you do for them, how you share your time, how you share yourselves, how you share Jesus. And we hereby resolve to tell you so as often as we can.

Olivia: Now, all those in favor say “aye.” [Wait]. Opposed? [Wait]

Barnabas: Abstentions? Then the motion carries. Thanks teachers.

All: Now, is this a great day or what?

Burning Swifter, Higher, Stronger, by Marvin Lansverk

Season of Pentecost. Burning Swifter, Higher, Stronger. Acts 2:1-11: The Coming of the Holy Spirit. Pentecost and the Last Day of Sunday School.

Puppets: Barnabas, Olivia, and Lorenzo
People: Kids
Props: Piece of paper
Songs: Music from the Olympics

[Explain to the kids that they are going to be in a parade, they are to hold hands, parade around by front door and back through the middle aisle, waving at the congregation. Arrange for one kid to stay up front, doing summersaults.]

[Olivia, Lorenzo, and Barnabas are up front, Lorenzo in the middle, with the piece of paper]

Barnabas: Buenos dias, boys and girls. How is everybody today?

Olivia: Hi kids. It’s good to see you all here this morning.

Lorenzo: Hola ninos. You all look marvelous this morning, simply marvelous. And a good thing too, since it’s time for our Closing Ceremonies.

Barnabas: Closing Ceremonies?

Lorenzo: Closing Ceremonies! Just like the Olympics. At the end of the Olympics, they have Closing Ceremonies, so at the end of this year’s Sunday School, we too are having Closing Ceremonies. Because the Olympics…and Sunday School are a lot alike, if you think about it.

Olivia: A lot alike?

Lorenzo: Sure. For instance, at the Olympics, they have…medals. And here at Sunday School, our organ…it has…pedals.

And the Olympics is a place where you race. And Sunday School is a place for…grace.

Annnnd, at the Olympics, to watch some events, the audience sits on bleachers. And here at Sunday School, some of our littlest kids—they sit on their teachers.

And finally, at the Olympics, they have the marathon—which takes a really long time. And at Sunday School—we have…the puppet show!

Barnabas: But, but, but…those…all those have absolutely nothing to do with each other.

Lorenzo: At least most of them rhyme!

Olivia: But Closing Ceremonies at the Olympics…those always involve a parade of all the participants, and then there’s a bunch of acrobats in incomprehensible costumes, and then fireworks, and, and, and it all costs millions of dollars to produce. [Pause]

Lorenzo: So?

Olivia: So? We can’t just have a Closing Ceremony, with no budget, with no…rehearsal, as if this were just…one of our regular puppet shows.

Lorenzo: Exactly. Which is why I have it all planned out. Right here.

Barnabas: Let’s see that. [Grab paper] Well I’ll be. He does.

Olivia: Let me see. [Grab paper] OK. So I see we’re going to have a parade of all the kids. That’s ok. And then Katy Dickensheets [Fill in name] is going to do a summersault while wearing a pickle costume. Good. But then what’s all this about fireworks, and fire falling from the sky, and flames?

Lorenzo: Ahh. That’s my secret theme.

Barnabas: Your secret theme?

Lorenzo: Theme. Shh. It’s Pentecost Sunday. So the theme of the closing ceremonies is going to be Pentecost—you know, the day we celebrate the Holy Spirit coming down from heaven onto Jesus’ followers so they could spread the Good News everywhere throughout the world—with God’s help. It’ll be great. I’ve got kids ready to drop burning pieces of toilet paper from the ceiling, as tongues of flame, and fireworks, the whole deal.

Olivia: Uh uh.

Lorenzo: Uh uh?

Olivia: Uh uh. You can’t have open flames in church, except on the altar. It’s a rule.

Lorenzo: [Surprised] No?! Why not?

Olivia: Too much hairspray. So we’ll have to change that part. Besides, you can’t have tongues in church these days either.

Lorenzo: [Astonished] No tongues? Aye carumba, why not?

Olivia: They’re too….tonguey. We’ll have to switch that to something with less…spit. Something more dry... and generic. Like…cubes.

Barnabas: Cubes could be nice.

Lorenzo: Cubes of flame. Ok.

Olivia: Oh no! Not flames. I said that was too dangerous. We’ll have to switch that to….

Barnabas: I know. How about…air…instead.

Olivia: Great! Ok. Cubes of air. That sounds safe. Then let’s get started.

[Parade begins. Olympic music starts playing on the piano, the kids all parade by waving, with one doing summersaults. In the meantime, Lorenzo, Barnabas, and Olivia move to the pulpit, and begin their commentary]

Lorenzo: It’s good to be in the commentator’s booth with you two again, at the Closing Ceremonies of this year’s Sunday School. Just look at that parade of Bible athletes—with those…er…cubes of air over their heads.

Barnabas: You know, what I like best about these Closing Ceremonies, is that instead of coming in by delegation, as they do at the Opening Ceremony, they are all mixed up together—in a big scrum—as one big happy family.

Lorenzo: Good point, Bob.

Barnabas: Bob?

Lorenzo: Olympic commentators are always named Bob.

Olivia: [Excited] Oh. And look at that. That group is holding hands, and hugging. It’s wonderful how Sunday School brings these kids together.

Lorenzo: Good point, Bob. [Everyone gives each other a weird look; piano music stops]

Barnabas: Oop, but, I see that it’s almost time for the most poignant part of the Closing Ceremony.

Olivia: What’s that, Bob?

Barnabas: The extinguishing of the Olympic flame.

Lorenzo: Ah, but that’s where you’re wrong, Bob. They may extinguish the flame at the Olympics, but at church…in Sunday School…in real life, that flame, the Holy Spirit, is never extinguished. It burns all year round.

Olivia: [Praying] Thank you Lord, for all your blessings. For your spirit at work in the world and in this church. And thank you for these kids, who are a blessing to us. No one who sees them could not know that you, Lord, are here among us, holding us, celebrating with us, loving us. Amen.

All: Now, was that great Sunday School year, or what!

[Piano reprises Olympic music while everyone clears out]